 Why have
we become defeatists just because The Times of India has done
such a brilliant job of exposing this strangely gut-wrenching
but simultaneously hilarious loot of our wealth in the name of
Commonwealth? Why are we so depressed merely because the world
media has turned India’s image into a toilet seat, thereby
fulfilling V S Naipaul’s dream first sketched in “An Area of
Darkness” ? Away with the frozen frown! We must be sunny and
optimistic. Let us look at the positive side and list the great
achievements that await us during the Commonwealth Games.
India will win 200 medals. Given the rate at which the
weak-livered champions from kidneyless countries like Australia
-- imagine getting scared by a mere dengue mosquito! bah! -- are
dropping out, we will soon be cheering ourselves hoarse as
Indians win gold after gold in what becomes a virtual domestic
competition. The downside is that our ministers will feel
compelled to hand out Rs 20 lakh of our money to the winners,
but at least the cash will go to sports stars rather than a
greasy political shrimp masquerading as a whale or dolphin.
We Indians have, regrettably, forgotten our true strength. Do we
remember that we were the first nation to defeat European
colonialism? The British Empire never recovered from Indian
independence; it was downhill all the way for London after
August 15, 1947. It is but child’s play for a nation that
destroyed the mightiest empire in history, to ruin the
Commonwealth. Those who think of Suresh Kalmadi and the Group of
Ministers in charge of the Games as merely incompetent or greedy
or both are doing them a terrible injustice. They are, in truth,
liberation theologians who are putting the finishing touches to
a mission that Gandhi and Nehru were unable to complete. Our
founding fathers killed the Raj; their faithful heirs have
neutered the child of the Raj, the Commonwealth . Our generation
achieved its goal through strict non-violence . All we did was
to introduce the Commonwealth to Indian standards of hygiene and
the Commonwealth became a gibbering wreck. The world is amazed
only because it has always underestimated India’s destructive
capacity, which is second only to India’s self-destructive
capacity.
Delhi will be a divine city from October 3 to 14. Not a single
foreign tourist will have arrived, and every Dilliwalla with the
means will have followed Mani Shankar Aiyar out of the capital.
Schools will be closed. Offices will be on semi-holiday . The
Delhi government has already issued restaurant alerts through
radio ads, saying anyone who tries to eat out is anti-national .
Ergo: no traffic. Potholes will have been bricked up, with
strict instructions to implode only after October 14. The skies
will have exhausted themselves. The weather will begin to drift
towards winter. Can you think of a more idyllic place to enjoy a
fortnight of bliss? As nothing is perfect , the only precaution
will be to ensure that you do not go anywhere near the entrance
to the stadiums. The stadiums were built nearly three decades
ago for the Asiad under Rajiv Gandhi’s stewardship at minimal
cost, without any noticeable whiff of corruption, and therefore
are excellent . It is today’s approach and the embellishment ,
done with amoebic dysentery spending that is the problem. If you
are an ordinary Indian, please do not use any new connector
bridge. The government will show some remorse only if anything
happens to a foreign athlete when a bridge collapses.
Clear evidence has emerged that the inmates are no longer in
charge of the asylum . It may have taken a press conference by
one of our honoured foreign Games officials , in which he used a
few indelicate words, and pictures that turned the world’s image
of ‘Risen India’ into a horror story, but the high and mighty
did finally stir. Intervention at nothing less than the Prime
Minister’s level was needed to get chaps with long brooms to
brush the dust out and use a bit of water in the bathrooms, but
admit it -- it happened! Yes, we do not know yet what will
happen when the athletes finally hit the turf, and whether
swimming pool leaks have been plugged or not, but this column
has already warned you that the best way to enjoy the
Commonwealth Games is by staying as far away from the venues as
you can.
A friend pointed out that we have only now begun to notice what
happened some time ago: the CIA has taken over India. The CIA
provides the core inner ring which pumps blood into the heart of
the current ruling class of our country. CIA is: Corrupt
Incompetent Arrogant. There is only one reason China is ahead of
India; because it is run by the CPC: Corrupt, Perverse but
Competent.
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Much Good from a Bad Games
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Omar must know Army is not the Enemy
Self-preservation
is the default mode of the self-destructive. Omar Abdullah is
trapped in an existential dilemma. He cannot blame himself for
the wreck he has wrought. To do so would severely damage, if not
abort, a political career born in genetic entitlement and wafted
into that exhilarating but oxygen-thin ozone layer of celebrity.
He cannot blame Delhi either, the favoured recourse of regional
parties caught in a crisis, for he is a child of Delhi in more
senses than one. He owes his job to the masters of the Capital,
Congress and more specifically Rahul Gandhi. He tried blaming
the local opposition, particularly his bete noire Mehbooba
Mufti, but that is a futile dead end. It could not take him out
of the maze. Mehbooba is in control of neither the street nor
the secretariat. Blaming Pakistan is too obvious to raise
anything more substantial than a yawn.
Permalink: Omar must know Army is not the Enemy
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